College teaches you a lot of valuable lessons. Surviving in the real world is not one of them. At least, I don't think most colleges and universities mean to teach their students about the real world. The innovative students sort of end up teaching themselves. I think we should ask for a portion of our tuition in return, but that's just me. Tell me truly, though, how many of these lessons did you learn?
College (probably) taught you nothing about budgeting, but you know how to feed yourself after you fail to budget.
In college, you got “paid,” what, three times a year? In the real world, sometimes you get paid every two weeks, sometimes, insanely, you get paid once a month, sometimes you get paid weekly. At some point, no matter what, you will blow through all of your paycheck way before you should. In college, you blew that extra aid cash on books, beer, and food. In the real world, it goes to rent, utilities, internet, and your data plan. In both worlds, you're stuck with gourmet ramen and Febrezing the bejeezus out of your clothes for a minute.
Okay, as time marches on, that's less because of youthful vigor and more because of excellent concealer, but still. It's a lesson.
No one will ever catch you napping at your desk … but you do it all the time. Your boss is no wiser than your philosophy professor.
Thanks to all-nights and 8 am classes, this is an art form. It is a practical lesson that will serve you well your whole life through.
This is helpful to know in your 20s. According to Carrie Bradshaw, you're not responsible for buying the drinks until you're in your 40s, so it's still safe enough to go with the cheap stuff.
This is due to the sheer amount of themed parties you attended in college. You will never be at a loss for a costume and it will always be clever.
Literally anything. Give you five minutes and access to Google, and you will always wow everyone listening to whatever you're supposed to be talking about. You'll forget your marvelous idea five minutes later, but whatever.
You'll look back fondly on all the paper writing you did in college. Those papers gave you the ability to ramble your way through any email, resume, or cover letter.
Some people don't get to know how that feels until they're middle-aged. You know at 18! You're so advanced!
Why? Because of frigging group projects, that's why. Well … unless you were the lazy team member, I guess.
You know, so your grade doesn't get docked. Or your pay. Whatever. The point is, you know how to perfectly toe the line. It's a shame no boss will ever say to you, “Your attendance does not affect your paycheck.”
Not the greatest lesson, but a true one nonetheless. When you have to, you do know how to scrape by doing the least amount possible. Sad to say, this will come in handy at some point in your real world future.
It's exactly how you felt before your first day of college! Something new! So exciting! Gonna learn so much! Gonna make new friends! Gonna have the time of your life!
Nope. It never does. It never, ever does.
Just like you once made “friends” with the snarkiest professor on campus, you know you can make your boss adore you. Surely, you'll be promoted to VIP within your first six months.
This is a hobby that will continue in the real world. Welcome to adulthood!
Did you learn any unexpectedly practical lessons in college?
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