It isn’t easy to deal with your parents fighting constantly, but in some families it’s unavoidable. If your parents have a lot of tension between them, it will be difficult to be happy in spite of all the drama and anger. In order to deal with your parents fighting, try out these simple tips and see if you don’t feel a little bit better!
1. Remember It Isn’t Your Fault
Even if you are a regular topic in your parents’ arguments, it isn’t your fault that they’re fighting. You should keep this in mind as you try to deal with your parents fighting, because otherwise it will be nearly impossible to cope. You shouldn’t blame yourself for the issues your parents have, because you are the greatest gift your parents will ever receive. Even if they don’t express it often, your parents love you more than they are angry with one another.
2. Go out Often
One of the best ways to deal with your parents fighting is to try to forget about it for a while. I don't mean forget about it by using drugs or alcohol which, unfortunately, some teens turn to. I mean get out of the house when both of your parents are home and you expect them to fight. After all, out of sight, out of mind, right? It won't be totally easy to forget about your parents fighting, even when you're not around to hear them verbally attack each other, so you should try to distract yourself with fun activities. Go see a movie or shop with some friends, whatever helps you keep your parents' issues off your mind for at least a few hours. Hopefully by the time you return home, your parents will have cooled down a bit.
3. Don't EavesDrop
If you can't always get out of the house when you sense a fight in the air, the least you can do is avoid eavesdropping. Close your door, turn up the music, watch your favorite movie, whatever it takes to drown out the sound of your parents arguing and shouting. In a perfect world, parents would be courteous enough to avoid fighting when their children were home, but you won't be so lucky. So just do your own thing and don't ever intentionally listen in on your parents' fight. It will just cause you to feel more distraught and them to feel even worse once they find out you've heard their entire argument.
4. Don't Assume the Worst
When your parents fight constantly, it's easy to assume the worst. The "worst" is probably one of your parents walking out on you. If you've witnessed this happen to a friend or family member, you may think that this reality is inevitable and that your family is the next one to fall apart! But worrying has never fixed any problems, and it never will. Like I said, your parents love you more than they dislike each other, and a good parent will always put your needs first. If your parents do end up separating, you'll deal with that pain as it comes. But for now, there's no use in jumping to horrible conclusions.
5. Don't Take Sides
You may have a natural tendency to take sides in your parents' arguments, but you should try to avoid doing so! Your parents need to fight their own battles, but when you take sides you throw yourself right into the middle of theirs. To avoid unnecessary suffering, stay neutral in your parents' arguments. That way you don't find yourself entering a war you never asked for.
6. Express How You Feel
I know it sounds scary, talking to your parents openly usually does. But if your parents' fighting is making you miserable, you need to tell them so. In that moment, they may turn on you and yell about how it's none of your business. But don't let that derail you from expressing your emotions. Eventually, your parents will realize that their actions are hurting you. Trust me, they do not want that! Parents fight because of issues in their own relationships, not because of anything you have done. That means that once your parents see that they're making you feel worried, they'll probably become more even-tempered when you're around.
7. Talk to a Counselor
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents about what is going on between them, you should still seek out counsel from an adult in your life. This can be your pastor, rabbi, imam, school counselor, older cousin, or other wise, trustworthy adult. Believe it or not, all adults were once teenagers and probably witnessed their parents fighting on many occasions. They can offer you a perspective you may not have considered, and advice that with help you through this difficult time. Not only will this give you a chance to vent, you'll also have a chance to learn some effective, personalized ways to deal with your parents fighting.
No one likes having parents who fight constantly, but sometimes you just need to learn how to cope with it. I know it isn't easy to deal with parents who act so hatefully toward one another, but all you can do is try your best to enjoy your teenage years despite all of the domestic drama. What tips do you have for other teens struggling to deal with parents who fight constantly?