It isn’t easy to deal with your parents fighting constantly, but in some families it’s unavoidable. If your parents have a lot of tension between them, it will be difficult to be happy in spite of all the drama and anger. In order to deal with your parents fighting, try out these simple tips and see if you don’t feel a little bit better!
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1. Remember It Isn’t Your Fault
Even if you are a regular topic in your parents’ arguments, it isn’t your fault that they’re fighting. You should keep this in mind as you try to deal with your parents fighting, because otherwise it will be nearly impossible to cope. You shouldn’t blame yourself for the issues your parents have, because you are the greatest gift your parents will ever receive. Even if they don’t express it often, your parents love you more than they are angry with one another.
2. Go out Often
One of the best ways to deal with your parents fighting is to try to forget about it for a while. I don't mean forget about it by using drugs or alcohol which, unfortunately, some teens turn to. I mean get out of the house when both of your parents are home and you expect them to fight. After all, out of sight, out of mind, right? It won't be totally easy to forget about your parents fighting, even when you're not around to hear them verbally attack each other, so you should try to distract yourself with fun activities. Go see a movie or shop with some friends, whatever helps you keep your parents' issues off your mind for at least a few hours. Hopefully by the time you return home, your parents will have cooled down a bit.
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If going out seems too mundane, consider engaging in specific hobbies or sports that make you feel uplifted and healthy. Physical activities, like joining a local soccer team or taking a dance class, not only occupy your time but also promote endorphin release, which naturally boosts your mood. In addition, trying something new and challenging, like mastering a musical instrument or volunteering at a community service, can shift your focus and give you a sense of achievement and purpose. Remember, your well-being is paramount, so prioritize activities that support your mental and emotional health.
Frequently asked questions
It’s really tough when this happens. Try finding a quiet space for yourself, like your room or a park. You could also talk to a friend or write in a journal to express how you feel.
Absolutely not! Remember, their issues are not your responsibility. It's really important to remind yourself that you’re not to blame for their disagreements.
You can’t control their actions, but you could try talking to them calmly about how their fighting affects you. But sometimes, they just need to work through their problems themselves.
It’s great to find someone you trust, like a close friend, a school counselor, or even an adult you’re comfortable with. Talking to someone can really help!
If you feel safe, you can try quietly leaving the room and giving them space. You might also pop in your earbuds with some music or a podcast to help distract and calm yourself.
3. Don't EavesDrop
If you can't always get out of the house when you sense a fight in the air, the least you can do is avoid eavesdropping. Close your door, turn up the music, watch your favorite movie, whatever it takes to drown out the sound of your parents arguing and shouting. In a perfect world, parents would be courteous enough to avoid fighting when their children were home, but you won't be so lucky. So just do your own thing and don't ever intentionally listen in on your parents' fight. It will just cause you to feel more distraught and them to feel even worse once they find out you've heard their entire argument.
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Avoiding the temptation to listen in on an argument can be challenging, but it's crucial for your emotional well-being. Remember, the arguments between your parents are about their relationship, not yours with them. Involving yourself, even as a silent listener, can skew your perception and feelings. Should you find it difficult to drown out the noise, consider using noise-canceling headphones or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air. Self-care in such situations isn't selfish; it's necessary. Protecting your peace of mind enables you to maintain a level of detachment, which is healthier for everyone in the long run.
4. Don't Assume the Worst
When your parents fight constantly, it's easy to assume the worst. The "worst" is probably one of your parents walking out on you. If you've witnessed this happen to a friend or family member, you may think that this reality is inevitable and that your family is the next one to fall apart! But worrying has never fixed any problems, and it never will. Like I said, your parents love you more than they dislike each other, and a good parent will always put your needs first. If your parents do end up separating, you'll deal with that pain as it comes. But for now, there's no use in jumping to horrible conclusions.
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When parents are constantly fighting, it can be a difficult and stressful situation for their children. Not only can it be emotionally draining, but it can also cause a lot of confusion and insecurity. It's important to remember that your parents love you more than they dislike each other, and that it is possible for them to work through their issues.
The first step to dealing with your parents fighting is to not assume the worst. While it is understandable to worry that your family might be the next to fall apart, it is important to remember that worrying has never fixed any problems. Instead, try to focus on the positive things that your parents do for you.
It can also be helpful to talk to your parents about their fighting. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to express your feelings and concerns. Your parents may be more willing to work through their issues if they know how much it is affecting you.
It is also important to take care of yourself. This means taking time to relax and do activities that make you feel good. This could include taking a walk, reading a book, or even talking to a friend. Taking care of yourself can help you cope with the stress of your parents fighting.
5. Don't Take Sides
You may have a natural tendency to take sides in your parents' arguments, but you should try to avoid doing so! Your parents need to fight their own battles, but when you take sides you throw yourself right into the middle of theirs. To avoid unnecessary suffering, stay neutral in your parents' arguments. That way you don't find yourself entering a war you never asked for.
6. Express How You Feel
I know it sounds scary, talking to your parents openly usually does. But if your parents' fighting is making you miserable, you need to tell them so. In that moment, they may turn on you and yell about how it's none of your business. But don't let that derail you from expressing your emotions. Eventually, your parents will realize that their actions are hurting you. Trust me, they do not want that! Parents fight because of issues in their own relationships, not because of anything you have done. That means that once your parents see that they're making you feel worried, they'll probably become more even-tempered when you're around.
7. Talk to a Counselor
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents about what is going on between them, you should still seek out counsel from an adult in your life. This can be your pastor, rabbi, imam, school counselor, older cousin, or other wise, trustworthy adult. Believe it or not, all adults were once teenagers and probably witnessed their parents fighting on many occasions. They can offer you a perspective you may not have considered, and advice that with help you through this difficult time. Not only will this give you a chance to vent, you'll also have a chance to learn some effective, personalized ways to deal with your parents fighting.
No one likes having parents who fight constantly, but sometimes you just need to learn how to cope with it. I know it isn't easy to deal with parents who act so hatefully toward one another, but all you can do is try your best to enjoy your teenage years despite all of the domestic drama. What tips do you have for other teens struggling to deal with parents who fight constantly?
Comments
Kavya: #2 Ok this doesnt help because Im 9 and I cant go out
mariana: #2 i agree but this can't help because i am forbiden from going out.
alex: #5 Both my parents put me in a tight spot....my mother tells me about the things my father does..he never comes home..he lives in another city,whenever he says he'll come he just never shows up,also the other day my mother was going to go to her home town so my father had to come...i had my grandma and uncle saying that"Oh he'll definitely come after she's(mother) and started laughing...and hearing this it just stabbed my heart so how can I not pick sides after hearing all this..?!?I know he's a good fathe,I know he cares for mer but I cant say he's a good husband... He too calls me up and says don't listen to whatever your mother's saying and stuff and if I don't say anything both of them get hurt,what should I do?!?!I try to cope by saying that ohh every parents fight but do they fight everyday??!I cant even share it with anyone...
Amelie: My parent constantly fight everyday and night and with my brother who has SPD its really hard to cope at home. Im only in year 7 so I’m not aloud to go out unless I'm with friends or parent at the time. I usually find my dad doesn’t come home at night and had been drinking and smoking more than usual. As our house is small you can hear everything and sometimes it gets to the point my mom has to leave the house to get away from him if he comes home that is. I remember that he’s got to the point where he’s barely resisting getting physical I struggle to talk about it because i get really nervous but if noticed me and my bother both act more antisocial around my parents. I’ve also developed trust issues and can’t be in the same room with the both of them. I hope everyone who goes through it understands that it will get better eventually even if it feels really slow.
tggg: * same here kavya .-. it's pain...
Selena: Yea Kayva same for me i'm nine and i already asked my parents to stop fighting
Bree: Thank you for bringing this topic up! I just have a few things to add that might help others understand this topic. 1st, the fighting can last into adulthood when some people have to return home after 4 years in college. It just makes it so important to keep working hard to be able to get your own place and peace. Secondly, some parents won't listen to your expression of your feelings by telling you to shut up just because you don't pay any household bills (umm, you can't afford to pay rent, let alone their bills soo...). Anyway, this makes your therapist's, friends', and family's support and listening so helpful at these times. Lastly, divorce can be scary as well as some situations where the fighting can bring up an even worse fear. It's difficult to face life's pressures and come home to your parents issues, but it won't last and with all the ways mentioned in this article, peace can be found. Good luck to anyone else who's going through this and keep your hopes strong :) -24 year home war veteran
mariana: what else can i do appart from the mentioned?
sumbody: my parents are fighting on and off right now and I don't know what to do I have a little sibling I want to take care of and it feels like its crumbling I don't want to assume the worst but it comes so naturally and I'm crying way too often- like right now
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