Every bully is different, so the ways to cope with a mean girl vary on a case-to-case basis. But some ways to cope with a mean girl are virtually foolproof! You're bound to encounter at least a few mean girls during your teenage years, but you should never let them have too great of an effect on your happiness. If you're having issues with a mean girl on campus, try these ways to deal with her!
1. Ignore Her
When it comes down to it, often the best way to cope with a mean girl is simply to ignore her. Bullies feed off of your fear and insecurity, so if you show no sign of either, the girl tormenting you will probably just give up! Pretending not to hear all the rumors and lies she makes up may be difficult at first, but it will pay off when your life returns to normal. So as a rule of thumb, when trying to find ways to cope with a mean girl, just ignore her!
2. Approach Her
If you're courageous enough, you should always try approaching a mean girl when trying to cope with her cruelty. This may catch her off guard a bit if she isn't used to having people call out her actions. That being said, you shouldn't approach her in public. Because you don't know how she'll react, she may begin to cry or become embarrassed, then suddenly you're the mean girl! So when your mean girl isn't with her posse, quietly approach her and ask her what it is she has against you. You may be able to work everything out on the spot! But if not, she may at least back off because she knows you won't just shrink back to accept bad treatment.
3. Be Nice to Her
Have you ever heard the phrase "Kill them with kindness?" Well that applies perfectly here! When you're dealing with a mean girl, being nice can startle her so much that she quiets down right away. It's hard to be mean to someone who smiles at you every time they see you. And believe it or not, it's just as hard for mean girls too! So send your bully positive vibes so that you don't add fuel to her fire by being mean back.
4. Talk to Your Parents
Your parents have been through everything you've gone through too, and can offer wise advice after all the many years of experience they've had coping with mean girls. I wouldn't recommend talking to your friends about a mean girl, because that just leads to more gossip and hurt feelings. But talking to your parents about problems at school is a great way to vent! So after a rough day at school, don't hesitate to cry on your parent's shoulder-that's what they're here for!
5. Empower Yourself
Any time someone puts you down, it's important to empower yourself afterward. Repeating positive affirmations daily can empower you by reminding you of how amazing you are! As you become more empowered, you'll build a wall of confidence around yourself that no mean words or twisted lies can penetrate! Soon enough, it won't matter what mean girls say about you because you love yourself so much!
6. Play Defense, Not Offense
When coping with a mean girl, it's never a good idea to play offense. Just because someone verbally attacks you doesn't mean that you should retaliate with even crueler words. You should simply defend yourself. For example, if someone calls you "fat", reply that you're proud of your body! You may be tempted to throw in a biting remark after that, to not sound too much like Oprah, but it won't be worth it. Because when you fight fire with fire, you both get burned in the end.
7. Get to Know Her Story
A lot of mean girls aren't mean straight down to their core, but simply act that way as a defense mechanism. If you ever get a chance to sit and talk with your mean girl, you should try to find out why she hates you so much. The truth may be that she doesn't hate you, but hates herself. This will give you an opportunity to discuss with her why she shouldn't feel that way, and even offer wise advice. It won't be easy to mentor the girl who was tormenting you just last period, but both you and she will feel much better after she shares her story with you.
We've all faced mean girls before, but we don't always deal with them in the best way possible, but these are a few surefire ways to cope with a bully, you just need to find what strategies work best for you! Hopefully you won't face too many mean girls in the future, but if you do, how will you cope with them?