No one ever said that ending a friendship would be easy, but unfortunately it’s a task almost no teenager can avoid. Some relationships are toxic, and you are better off without them. But when ending a friendship, there’s no reason you can’t do it smoothly so that no one’s feelings get too hurt.
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1. Do It in Person
Ideally, you and your friend will simply grow apart as you advance in years, but sometimes it is imperative that you end the friendship now. When ending a friendship, make sure you do it in person. Don’t text your friend rant-style, pointing out everything he or she has done wrong, simply ask them to meet up with you and settle things in person.
2. Explain
Once you get together to break off the friendship, make sure you explain your reasoning. Maybe your parents don’t want you to be friends any more, maybe you feel like you’ve grown too different, or things just feel off. Dig deep and figure out your explanation before you end things, because if you don’t, your plan could backfire and you’ll feel uncomfortable and possibly cruel.
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3. Avoid Insults
Hopefully things don’t get too heated when you’re ending your friendship. One way to steer clear of that is by avoiding insults. Your friend could have wronged you a hundred and one times, but there is still no reason to resort to name calling and insulting. That will lead to a big blow up- the opposite of a smoothly ended friendship.
4. Be Aware of Your Tone
One of the benefits of meeting in person is being able to control your tone, whereas in text all of your words may be received as hateful or hostile, when really they are said from a place of love. That being said, you need to be aware of your tone when speaking with your friend. Keep your voice low and calm, because shouting agitatedly will only take you down a bad path.
5. Be Honest
Honesty is critical to ending a friendship smoothly. Don’t lie and say that you’re moving, or that your parents hate him or her. Lying is insulting to people’s intelligence and essentially desecrates your friendship. Aim to be as honest as possible when breaking off your ties with a former friend.
6. Stay Positive
Positivity is another key ingredient to ending a friendship smoothly. Instead of bringing up dirt from the past, remain focused on the good times shared. You and your friend can reminisce about the good old days, then hug it out. That way, your friendship will end on a positive note.
7. Be Gradual
Unless this friendship is really, really bad news, and potentially dangerous, or is something your parents have ordered you to end immediately, try to end the friendship gradually. Simply text less, stop offering to hang out every weekend, and cease relying on them for emotional support. As you distance yourself from your friend, the end of the relationship will become nearer and smoother.
While it isn’t exactly a breakup, the end of a friendship can still be extremely painful emotionally. But sometimes, it is just what needs to be done. Fortunately, it doesn’t always have to hurt too much, as long as you follow these tips for ending a friendship smoothly. What other tips would you offer someone who is trying to get out of a toxic relationship?
Comments
Sabrina: @Eden Hollingsworth, Childhood friends are definitely the hardest to shake, and since she's your neighbor things are even more complicated! It will be awkward if you have a big falling out, but try to convey to her what you just said: you do care about her, and you don't want to ignore her. I think you should still speak to her in the future, just to be polite. If she says, hi, say hi back, and if her family invites yours to a BBQ, go along, too. But if you feel like it's not a great relationship, don't go out of your way to talk to her and hang out with her. Slowly but surely, you’ll become less close and can go on your own paths to discover who you are during your teenage years. Hope this helped! Have a great day!
peony: Great article nut it also depends how the relationship fell apart. Sometimes it is best if it fizzles out but it is all about how it falls apart.
Eden: I've been friends with a girl for about 12 years, we've basically known each other since we were in diapers but I think now that we are in our teen years, we are changing in interests and personality. I really care about this girl but she's my neighbor, 😳 so won't it be totally awkward if I see her outside sometimes, after we've a stopped being friends? What do I do? Should I speak or just ignore her in the future?
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