Why It Really Doesn't Matter if You're Not Popular at School ...

Alison Oct 24, 2021

Why It Really Doesn't Matter if You're Not Popular at School ...
Why It Really Doesn't Matter if You're Not Popular at School ...

Do you ever ask yourself, does being popular matter at school?

Do you feel like you're the unpopular one at school? Does it seem like everyone else has loads of friends, but you're just not part of the crowd? You shouldn't ask yourself, does being popular matter at school - here's why …

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1. Some People Have to Buy Their Friends

document, mobile device, Get, in,, loser., Have you ever wondered how the popular kids get to be so popular? Often it's based on really shallow things like wearing the right clothes or having a pool. If you have to buy your popularity, then those people aren't really your friends. Isn't it better to have a few friends who like you for who you are, not for material reasons?

2. Quality, Not Quantity

person, You, canit, sit, with, It doesn't matter if you can count your friends on the fingers of one hand. Those friendships are likely to be a lot more meaningful than having a lot more friends who aren't actually there for you when you need them. Quality friendships will be far more valuable to you - and will last much longer than superficial friendships.

Frequently asked questions

Honestly, it feels like we're always told that popularity equals happiness, right? Movies, TV shows—it's everywhere! But in reality, being popular doesn't mean you're happier or more successful. It's just one of those myths we grow up with.

Not really! Sure, it might help with some social skills, but life after high school is so different. People care more about your personality, your skills, and how you treat others. Trust me, high school drama doesn't matter after graduation.

Absolutely not! Being yourself is way more valuable than fitting into some popularity mold. You get to spend time with people who like you for who you are. And hey, wouldn't you rather have a few real friends than a bunch of fake ones?

Well, it can be super stressful! Trying to please everyone and maintain a certain image can take a toll on you. Plus, you might end up losing sight of who you really are. Sometimes it’s better to just be genuine and focus on real connections.

Focus on being you! Dive into your interests, make friends who appreciate you, and don't stress about fitting in. High school is such a small part of life. Being true to yourself is what really counts in the long run.

3. Other People's Opinions Aren't Important

person, hairstyle, singing, singer, profession, It really doesn't matter if other people don't think you're the coolest person in school. Their opinions aren't important. They're not writing the rulebook on life! So it doesn't matter if they don't count you as one of their circle. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and may simply be that you don't really click with each other.

***

Just be yourself and treasure the right connections that you make — those are the ones that truly count. Remember, quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. You're building a life, not a popularity chart. Plus, those with fewer, deeper friendships often report greater levels of happiness. Embrace who you are, values and all, and the people meant to stick around will. As for the rest? They're just passersby on your personal journey to self-discovery and fulfillment.

4. You Have Your Good Points, and There's Nothing Wrong with You

hair, hairstyle, album cover, red hair, Your, Popularity isn't everything, and it doesn't mean that you're lacking in any way. You have plenty of good points if you only gave yourself credit. Not being popular doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. You have something to offer the world, and your real friends like you the way you are.

***

Everyone has their unique qualities – traits that sparkle quietly rather than shout for attention. Embrace your quirks and interests, for it is these that make you who you are and draw the right people to you. Popularity is a fickle friend; it ebbs and flows like the tide. But self-acceptance is a steadfast companion. You're not here to be a carbon copy of someone else; you're here to be unapologetically you. And that, in itself, is a gift to be nurtured and celebrated, not a flaw to be concealed.

5. High School Will Be behind You One Day

eyebrow, person, nose, close up, cheek, Your high school life won't last forever. It'll all be behind you one day, and so will the worry about not being popular. So why fret that you don't have lots of friends? You'll grow in confidence as you get older, and will worry less about what other people think about you.

6. People Skills

person, emotion, alcohol, laughter, There, Some people are popular because they have good people skills, or because they're confident and attract others towards them. But if you don't have these skills, don't worry - you can learn them or fake them. You might be surprised to learn that some of these outwardly confident people are just as nervous as you are inside - they're just good at faking it!

7. Life is Not a Contest

Rally Ecuador, guitarist, person, singing, performance, Life isn't a race or a contest, and it doesn't matter if you're not Prom Queen. What matters most is being true to yourself and enjoying life. You don't need to try to equal anyone else in the popularity stakes, so relax and concentrate on building a few meaningful friendships that will enhance your life.

Don't beat yourself up because you don't have tons of friends. What matters is having friends who make you laugh, love you as you are, and are always there to support you. You don't need to count everyone in the school as your friend, or try to equal anyone else. How do you think you can be the best friend possible?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I was a terrible geek in high school. Ferociously teased. Just a couple friends but they were pretty and talented so they were cheerleaders. I cried a lot. Then I hit college. And an Air Force career that no one else could qualify for because all I did was study in college. So I've traveled the world, made friends all over Japan and Korea. I've been to tropical islands no one knows about. And I have a wonderful husband and 3 pretty cool kids...and a rascal of a granddaughter. Consider high school as payment for fantastic things to come. You earned it.

But I would like to know, if anyone knows how can you "fake it" to have better people skills?

Don't stress not being popular, by the time you get to your senior year you'll realize that that kind of stuff doesn't even matter

Thanks for the article Alison! I completely agree that remembering that high school doesn't last forever is important. I was so preoccupied about cliques in high school, but when I got to college, no one cared about that at all. Change will come! :)

For all of you guys going through a tough time just remember that even the worst days still have 24 hours. And you never know maybe that bully that you just want to punch, will be washing your car one day or bagging your groceries at WalMart!

Yeah! Who cares if you were popular or not at school! The most important thing is that you had the really good times with friends who care about you. It doesn't matter the quantity what matters is the people who do care to spend company with you.

Omg, i hate the girls at school! All they care about is to be popular, Why not just injoy life and be yourself

Thank you so much for this post! I really needed to hear some of these things.

Amazing stuff! Be blessed!

I'm going into my sophomore year of college and I don't even remember people's names from high school!

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