Your parents make the household rules and tell you what to do. As an obedient child, you listen. But sometimes, you need your parents to listen to you. It’s difficult for some parents to loosen their grip and give their children a say in their lives. But with the right tactic, you can get your parents’ to listen to your reasoning.
1. Choose the Right Time to Speak with Your Parents
If you're trying to persuade your parents to let you do something, or if you don't agree with a house rule, speak to your parents and discuss the situation in a mature manner. There's a wrong and a right time to approach the situation. It’s best to speak with your parents at a time when they’re relaxed and calm. Also, wait until your emotions are calm before bringing up the subject.
2. Watch Your Attitude and Tone
Although you feel strongly about your point of view, it's important to watch your attitude and tone. If you come off as rude or get loud with your folks, they might end the conversation and refuse to listen to your reasoning. Even if you have valid points, a bad attitude can ruin any chance of your parents being flexible.
3. Know Your Main Points
Before speaking with your parents, get an idea of the points you want to bring up. Make sure you're able to back up your point of view with sound reasoning. Getting your thoughts together ahead of time allows you to speak clearly, and it can alleviate misunderstandings between you and your folks.
4. Write a Letter
Reasoning with your folks might be difficult, especially if your parents always interrupt or talk over you. In this case, it might be better to write a letter or email. This is an excellent way to get all your thoughts on paper. You can express yourself clearly without interruptions or fear that you'll forget to bring up a valid point in a face-to-face discussion. Also, with your thoughts written down, your parents can refer back to the letter if they need clarification.
5. Listen to Their Viewpoint
Communication and reasoning go both ways. So don't monopolize the conversation with your point of view. Parents have the right to explain their view on matters. You might make a good argument for why you should be allowed to do something, yet they might have a better argument for why you shouldn’t go down a path.
6. Don’t Insist
Having a discussion with your parents and explaining your point of view doesn't mean things will go in your favor. Your parents might adjust their viewpoint, or their opinion might remain the same. Regardless, don't insist that your parents change their mind.
7. Give It Some Time
Don't expect an immediate response from your parents. Give them time to reflect on the arguments or points you've made. Together, they might need to weigh both sides of the issue to ensure they make a decision with your best interest in mind.
At the end of the day, your parents want what's best for you. So while you might not agree with their rules or decisions on matters, everything they do or say is for your protection. What are other tips for getting your parents to listen to your reasoning?
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I get my parents to really listen to me?
- Try choosing a calm moment to talk, using 'I' statements to express your feelings clearly.
- What if my parents interrupt or dismiss what I say?
- Politely ask them to let you finish and remind them you want to be heard and understood.
- How do I explain my feelings without sounding like I’m blaming them?
- Focus on your emotions by saying things like 'I feel...' instead of 'You never...'.
- What can I do if my parents just don’t understand my perspective?
- Ask questions about their viewpoints and share your side gently to find common ground.
- Is it better to write a letter or talk in person?
- Talking face-to-face usually helps, but writing a letter can be good if things get too emotional.
- How can I stay calm if the conversation gets heated?
- Take deep breaths, pause if needed, and remind yourself the goal is understanding, not winning.
- What if I feel like my parents are ignoring my problems?
- Be persistent but respectful, and consider involving a trusted adult or counselor if needed.
- How do I choose the right time to talk to my parents?
- Pick a quiet moment when they’re not busy or stressed to have a better chance at their full attention.
- Can showing empathy help in getting my parents to listen?
- Yes, acknowledging their feelings can open the door for them to listen to yours more openly.
- What if I want to bring up something difficult, like mental health?
- Be honest but gentle, and let them know it’s important to you so they understand the seriousness.