Being left out is an awful feeling. It’s hurtful and can completely change your opinion about those who are leaving you out. It’s bad when anyone does it but it’s even more hurtful when you’re being left out by your friends. These are some things you can do when you find yourself in this position.
1. Take a Closer Look at the Situation
Sometimes a situation isn’t what it seems. It may be that you weren’t really left out at all. It could be that your friends were getting together to work on an assignment for a class you don’t have or something similar. Many times, there’s a good explanation for things. A lot of times we feel hurt when others never truly intended to hurt our feelings.
2. Give It Some Thought
If you feel you were truly left out and you’re not misjudging the situation then give it some careful thought before you do anything else. Why might your friends have left you out? Did you have an argument that may have made them distance themselves? If it’s a situation where they just wanted to get together with another friend on their own, it’s probably not personal. It’s best to make sure you were really left out before you approach it with any of your friends.
3. Mention the Plans You Were Left out of
If you’re sure that you were deliberately left out then it might be best to get it out in the open. Only you can decide that. Find a way to mention the plans you were left out of. Your friends may explain why they didn’t invite you or they may avoid the subject. Either way, you’ve let them know that you’re aware you weren’t invited.
4. Talk to Your Friends about Your Feelings
If you feel it’s the right thing to do, go a step further and tell your friends how you feel. It’s okay to share that they hurt your feelings. No, it may not be easy for them to hear but it wasn’t easy for you to feel, either. True friendships can handle honesty. The point of this isn’t to start an argument; it’s to work out the issue so it isn’t repeated.
5. Make Your Own Plans
While you’re thinking all this over, don’t just sit at home! That’s only going to make you feel worse. Make your own plans. Get together with some other friends or do something fun by yourself. It’s amazing how much of a difference this can make in how you feel. Getting your mind off of things can be a good choice.
6. Give Them a Second Chance
All of us make poor choices at times. We’re human and that means we make mistakes. If you know your friends sincerely care about you then consider giving them a second chance, especially if they’re sorry for leaving you out. You don’t want to throw away a friendship over one incident. It may never happen again.
7. Move on with Other Friends
If being left out is a repeat occurrence then the situation is different. It’s probably time to find some new friends. If you look closely, there may even be other signs that your friendship wasn’t what you thought. They may have been cool or distant toward you or acted in other not so friendly ways. If this is the case then you’re better off by moving on and finding friends who value you for the wonderful person you are.
These are some steps to take if you’re feeling left out by your friends. Have you been in this situation? How did you deal with it?