Why do friends sometimes turn against you?

It can be really confusing and hurtful, but sometimes friends turn against you due to misunderstandings, jealousy, or their own personal struggles. It’s not always about you.

How should I react if my friend suddenly turns on me?

It’s tough, but try to stay calm. Give yourself some time to process your emotions. It's okay to feel hurt. Later, if you feel ready, you could try to talk to them and see if there's a way to mend things.

Should I try to fix things with a friend who turned against me?

That's really up to you. If the friendship was important and you believe it can be repaired, then it might be worth a shot. But never feel obligated to fix something that’s causing you pain.

What if I feel guilty about losing a friend?

It’s natural to feel guilty, but remember that friendships are a two-way street. It’s not all your fault. Self-reflect, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

How can I cope with the sadness of a friend turning against me?

Surround yourself with supportive people, find activities that make you happy, and maybe journaling can help you process your feelings. It takes time, but you’ll get through it.

7 Ways to Cope if Your Friend Turns against You ...

If your friend turns against you, it can be really upsetting and even bewildering. You may have no idea whatsoever what you did to upset them. Sometimes you've done nothing at all. It can happen when you're at high school, or when you're much older. Here's what to do if your friend turns against you …

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1. What's the Problem

The first thing to do if your friend turns against you is find out what the problem is in their eyes. Without intending to, you may have unwittingly offended them. Once you know what's upset them you can try to put it right. If there's been a misunderstanding, you can clear it up.

2. Give Them Space

Your friend may need some space to get over whatever's upset them, before your friendship returns to normal. Give them some time, rather than bugging them to talk to you. That will make you look needy and irritate them.

Frequently asked questions

: It can be really confusing and hurtful, but sometimes friends turn against you due to misunderstandings, jealousy, or their own personal struggles. It’s not always about you.
: It’s tough, but try to stay calm. Give yourself some time to process your emotions. It's okay to feel hurt. Later, if you feel ready, you could try to talk to them and see if there's a way to mend things.
: That's really up to you. If the friendship was important and you believe it can be repaired, then it might be worth a shot. But never feel obligated to fix something that’s causing you pain.
: It’s natural to feel guilty, but remember that friendships are a two-way street. It’s not all your fault. Self-reflect, but don’t be too hard on yourself.
: Surround yourself with supportive people, find activities that make you happy, and maybe journaling can help you process your feelings. It takes time, but you’ll get through it.

3. Not True Friendship

If your friend persists in not speaking to you, or believes someone else over you, then it may be that your friendship wasn't really that strong to begin with. Many friendships end because one person gets the wrong impression over something, or even because another party lies. It may even end for no good reason at all. But there's nothing you can do to make someone stay friends with you.

4. Ignore Them

If your former friend is being very juvenile and nasty, don't show any response or let them think that they've got to you. People can be very mean to someone they used to call their friend, and immature individuals may enlist other friends to pick on you. Don't give them the satisfaction; show that you're more mature than they are, and take absolutely no notice of their silly behavior.

***

Ignoring a former friend who is being nasty is a great way to cope with the situation. It shows that you are mature and not letting their behavior affect you. It can be difficult to ignore someone that you used to be close with, but it’s important to remember that their behavior is not a reflection of you. If other friends join in on the bullying, don’t let it get to you. Stay strong and keep ignoring them. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this situation and that it’s ok to reach out to trusted adults for advice and support.

5. Act Casual

Even grown adults can be very childish and mean towards their former friends. Teens can be even worse. If you're being picked on by your friend, act casually and shrug it off. So what if they're talking about you and laughing? As I've said, don't let them see that they're getting to you. They'll probably lose interest if they see that they aren't getting a reaction.

6. Ask Them to Stop

You could also tell them to stop their behavior if you think that it might make them listen to reason. If they don't want to be friends with you any more that's up to them, but there's no need to be childish and pick on you. If you make it clear that they're upsetting you, they may realise that they're being silly and stop.

7. Move on

Ultimately you may have to simply accept that the friendship has run its course and move on. It's upsetting if you don't know why your friend has turned against you, and sometimes you never know. It's probably something that you didn't even do. Accept that you're no longer friends, be sad for a while, then get on with your life.

It probably hurts even more when a friend turns on you than when someone you know doesn't like you is mean to you. You feel a sense of betrayal and loss. But there's often nothing you can do except move on. Have you ever been dumped by a friend without knowing why?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

@leightv Im so sorry to hear about your friends But sometimes it takes a situation like this to realize they werent good friends at all!!! Im also sorry to hear about your dad life can be so hard and sometimes all you need is to have a friend!!! I wish you all the best during this difficult time! :)

My friend she turned against me she's not talking to me anymore but I don't know the reason she is now a friend of our enemies m talking about my bbf here we use to share a room

Love this article, wish it was posted earlier, i needed something like this a year ago! :)

This article is great

I agree. I had a guy friend who all our of the blue became a severe white supremacists and I am not into that at all. I send him some gifts from time to time because he was talking he had nothing for himself and I thought to be nice and have him some things for him self and he was very grateful. But 2 weeks ago when the whole Rittenhouse showdown ended he was so happy, claimed Trump was his Dad and worshipped Rittenhouse and suddenly decided to tell me (I'm of European decent, my family lived through word war 2 and I lost relatives in that war) that the Holocaust never happened. That was it for me. I hung up and told him that only Nazi's talk that way. His roommate then blamed ME for what happened and I only used him as a glorified sex doll and talked only about the fetish. The guy texted me and told me it was of course all my fault and I was so stupid and he has met better people from grade school than Harvard (I'm a Harvard Graduate Summa Cum Laude and a Judge). And this is from a guy who couldn't even cut it to become a cop, because he was to dumb for it. So, friends can hide terrible secrets and when they come out, it can be the end for that friendship, but this was a real eyeopener and I'm actually happy I never met him for real.

super article. another spin on this type of situation that I'm currently experiencing is the loss of the majority of my "good" friends ever since my dad was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer's. because they don't know what to say, they'd rather run for the hills. funny thing is is that I rather them not try to console me or offer their sympathies... I'd much prefer their presence in my life. this chronic monster of a disease is vicious and horrific to witness, but compounded with the realization that my friends are slowly fading into the background has made this whole process that much more difficult.

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