If you see any of these signs your friends are using you for money, it might be time to find new friends. I tried to tell my friend that some of her closest friends just hung out with her because she paid for everything. It wasn't until she lost her job and they left that she believed me. Learn to recognize the signs your friends are using you for money so you leave the bums behind.
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1. Vacation Tag along
I really don't mind if a friend asks to come along on a trip with me. After all, we all need a vacation sometimes. What I do hate is when I've already paid for the room and activities, a friend wants to join me and never offers to pay a dime. This is one of the common signs your friends are using you for money. They always find that perfect time to tag along where you pay the tab and they supposedly get to spend quality time with you.
It can be difficult to tell when a friend is using you for money. Friends often act like they are doing you a favor by asking to join you on a trip or outing, but in reality, they are expecting you to foot the bill. This can be especially true for teens who may have limited resources and are more likely to be taken advantage of.
One of the most common signs that a friend is using you for money is when they ask to tag along on a trip or vacation that you have already paid for. They may not offer to contribute anything to the cost of the trip, yet still expect you to pay for their room and activities. This can be a sign that your friend is taking advantage of your generosity and using you for money.
Another sign that a friend is using you for money is when they constantly ask you to lend them money. While it’s normal for friends to borrow money from each other from time to time, if your friend is always asking for money and never offers to pay you back, this is a sign that they are taking advantage of your friendship.
2. Regularly Need Help
It's nice to be generous and giving. It actually helps you feel better. However, there should be a limit. If your friend only contacts you when they need financial help, maybe they're not really a friend at all. They should want to be around you when it isn't about getting a loan they'll never pay back. Trust me, these friends won't be there if you need help.
Frequently asked questions
If your friend always expects you to pay for everything and never offers to chip in, that’s a big red flag. Also, notice if they're always asking you for money but never pay you back. It's not just about one time but a pattern of behavior.
First, have a clear and honest conversation with them about how you feel. If they continue to ask, try setting boundaries. It’s okay to say no and explain why you can't always be their financial support.
Absolutely! Real friends don’t use each other. If someone only cares about you for what you can give them financially, it might be best to distance yourself from that relationship.
Feeling guilty is normal because you care about your friend. But remember, a real friend wouldn't want you to feel pressured or guilty. It's important to look after your own well-being too.
Yes. If they’re usually reliable and this is a new issue, they might be in a tough spot. Look for other changes in their behavior or mood. In that case, offering non-financial support or discussing other ways to help might be beneficial.
3. Always between Jobs
We've all had that one friend that always seems to be between jobs. They ask you to pay when you hang out. They promise to pay you back as soon as they get a job. Somehow that job never happens. After all, why do they need to get a job when they have friends to pay all their bills? Offer to help them in their job search and watch how many excuses they make. To them, their friends are their job.
4. You Owe Them
This is one of the worst kinds of friends. They've likely asked for loans, but when you nicely ask about repayment, they tell you that you actually owe them. They list every little thing they've ever done for you as if it was an imposition to be your friend. They're nice enough until you need your money back. When it's time to pay it back, that time they helped you wash your dishes after dinner is suddenly worth $50.
Having friends who use you for money can be a difficult situation to navigate, especially if you’re a teen. It can be hard to tell when a friend is taking advantage of you financially. Here are nine signs that your friends are using you for money:
They’re always asking for loans. If your friends are constantly asking to borrow money, it’s a sign that they don’t have the means to support themselves.
They never pay you back. If you’ve loaned your friends money in the past, but they never seem to pay it back, it’s a sign that they’re taking advantage of your generosity.
They’re always asking for favors. If your friends are constantly asking you to do them favors, such as running errands or buying them food, it’s a sign that they’re taking advantage of you.
5. Missing Money
Accidents do happen. I've had situations where I went out with friends and we ended up going somewhere that was cash only and I only had a credit card with me. However, I don't make a habit of it and I always pick up the tab for whoever covered me the next time we go out. If your friend is always short on cash or they forgot their wallet, they're just making excuses. No one leaves their money behind that often.
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6. Sudden Friends after a Windfall
Land that high paying new job or get a huge inheritance and watch people you barely know suddenly become your best friends. Sure, they seem like they really want to be around you. However, notice how often you end up paying for things. If someone didn't want to be close to you before a financial windfall, they don't deserve you after it happens. Real friends couldn't care less about your finances. They just want to hang out and have fun together.
7. You Always Drive
Let's face it, gas is never going to be cheap again. Money grubbing friends may not actually ask for money, but they'll gladly have you drive them everywhere. If they always have an excuse for not driving, especially when it's more convenient for them, they're probably just using you to save gas money. Tell them you can't drive because your car's in the shop and odds are, they'll cancel any plans until your car is fixed. These friends can easily cost you hundreds every year.
8. Say They'll Get the Next One
From meals to concerts, a classic excuse for friends not paying is they'll just get the next one. It's amazing how many “next ones” they can log. They might say it's easier for just one of you to pay. However, when next time comes, they probably don't have any money on them, so they promise to get the next two. Eventually, you realize, there will never be a next one.
9. Favor the Richest
In your circle of friends, everyone probably changes jobs or positions regularly. The friends who are just out for money will automatically gravitate to the friend with the most money or the nicest car. If you see a friend that bounces around from friend to friend, they probably couldn't care less about you. Their only bestie is the sound of your wallet opening. I highly recommend not mentioning any life changes to this friend.
Friends aren't supposed to take advantage of you. I prefer to keep friends around who care about me, not my money. Don't let your friends use you just because you have a good job. Have you ever had a friend that used you for money? How did you handle the situation?
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